BY TOBI YUSUF
Waiting for anything can be strenuous and quite boring! It becomes more tiresome when you have to wait for Mrs or Mr Right. *Rolls eyes* The FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) that follows, especially when one is advancing in age or one’s mates are starting their homes can be quite frustrating as well, leading some to settle for Mr or Mrs Right Now. Yet, it is important for singles to pay deliberate attention to becoming a valuable person even as they wait for their spouse to show up. This is what we are focusing on today.
I once had this friend, Lade, whose beauty and demeanor were so striking, that we were certain she’d be married before we wrapped up our Bachelor’s degree program. But God is not man and everyone else in our circle is married except her. Nevertheless, though she is in her 40s and unmarried, she still radiates grace and splendor in surprisingly greater measures than even back then in school. Lade is a top-tier manager and a name to be reckoned with in her industry. She exudes great power and authority, yet she keeps honing her skills. A great cook cum businesswoman, a strong believer yet the most compassionate human I’ve known outside of my family. The day she finally introduced me to her fiancé, who is also a fast-rising corporate leader, I was not shocked at all; I know she deserves him because she has empowered herself too much to get someone who does not complement her.
Dear single, you need not pine away just because marriage is not yet in the works. The time may not be ripe yet, and even you may not be well prepared enough. Sometimes we laugh at the people who ask the infamous question, “What do you bring to the table?” The truth is that you do not need to go empty to the table. In fact, be the table! Equip yourself so much that any man/woman who approaches you for a relationship will know that they have “found favor”.
I would like you to debunk the lies making the rounds in society that you attract gold diggers when you focus on building yourself so much, especially when you are a woman. Embrace the peace that comes with holding your head up in public when people of substance matter. Get that job, do that course, start that business, take up that Bible Course, improve your wardrobe, wear quality perfume, buy more books and read them, donate more to charity, take that break, book that appointment with that psychologist!!! They all count! More than counting, you cannot regret investing in yourself.
The truth is, the same way you feel you have hit the jackpot when you meet a 10/10partner is the same way they’d feel about meeting the empowered you. Moreover, you definitely attract what you look like. Even when the “low-grade” sorts come along, they’d naturally fall away, except you entertain them.
Singleness is not a curse. It is a period of sharpening yourself, your eyes, and your soul, to attract what/whom you are meant for and vice versa. The more you invest in yourself and enjoy the solitude that would definitely be disrupted once you are married, the lesser frustrations and desperations that push you into the arms of the wrong ones serving you premium breakfast now and then. It’s time to put you first; it’s time to do better.
Till I come your way next time in love and health.
Tobi Yusuf, founder of RIAH Events & Weddings, Relationship Mentor, convener of Love Connect – a community empowering couples and singles to build meaningful connections.